Basically, what was once just another bit of my identity has, over 26 years, become a defining element of who I am, whether I like it or not. (At least when it’s good.) I cannot wait to have sex someday.
Despite what you may think, abstaining has not made me a miserable, lonely, pleasure-deprived shell of a person. In fact, I’m all for sex — from what I’ve heard, it’s fantastic! Right now, however, I appreciate — and even take pride in — my virginity. Not in an “I’m better than them” way, but in the same way that being taller than most makes someone unique, or having two different-colored eyes.
The most serious contender waited until I was so smitten with him that I would break plans, skip class, call in sick — whatever — to drive hours to visit him, and then dumped me, saying it “just wasn’t a good time for him.”Another reason sex didn’t factor into my coming-of-age years is that I’m a Christian.
And given the choice between having just one boy with whom to spend all my time or a group of boys, friends trumped boyfriend.
In college there were a handful of guys who probably could have been my first, but things never quite worked out.
Instead of just sucking it up and telling Boy One why I was being so weird, I decided to be extremely mature and wait until he had left to text him asking if we could talk.
He called me and I spent the next half-hour mumbling and stuttering out the truth.
The Chat was never really an issue for me until three years ago.
I wasn’t like many teens, who consider sex a rite of passage.
As for The Chat, I’ve found that over time it’s become more of a Dude Decoder than Relationship Wrecker.
Let me explain: Every guy reacts differently to the No Sex bomb.
Heck, the first time I even heard of a blow job was when I threw a party in eighth grade and my mom caught a girl going down on a guy in our basement.