There is only committed or uninterested and seldom a middle ground.In studying the male INTJs I know, all of them met their life partner later in life, after the full force of their individual vision had come to the fore.Therefore they are less likely to court others to fill a hole in their lives. I recall posing this question once on a subreddit and a user said that in order for them to date a girl “the emotion has to override their natural leanings of skepticism and self-direction”. In true INTJ fashion, I needed to test my prowess in the field.
No man is an island but an INTJ will certainly try to act like one.
Among the INTJs I have witnessed there is an inherent confidence and focus which means they are not looking for that self-assurance through external validation.
In fact, INTJ individuals that are unbalanced (i.e.
dedicated to their work) might struggle understanding the social nuances of relationships altogether.
Bearing this in mind, I have for the most part only pursued women for one thing. The power of dominant Intuition and auxiliary Thinking work in harmony to arrange memorable experiences based on a vision.
Deciding to go through the dating ritual was a relatively new and exciting change of track. I met her at the Christmas work party and immediately my instinct suggested she would make for a good date. The girl in question could not believe I had not dated properly before. On the first date I scheduled dinner at a dimly lit locale and then drinks at an even more intimate bar.
For those perpetually lost in their heads and the less confident among the INTJs, dating is an exhausting practice.
Instead of making an attempt to immerse themselves in each moment, an unbalanced INTJ might over-think and analyse every morsel of information to the point where they come across as neurotic, insecure and lacking self-confidence.
A preference for closure and finality entails that when an INTJ settles down, they are settled.
I’ve never dated because I’ve never seen the point — I’d rather skip the adverts.
There are a number of reasons why the INTJ type struggles in dating, each feeding into the next.